Pages of the Past

I don't know about you but I've kept journals for at least the last 10 yrs. I've written books upon books and filled countless pages on my highs and lows of life thus far: the hits in love, the misses, stressful days, joyous days, death of loved ones, new life of little ones, my love for God, my frustration with God, the beautiful gift of life, the many times I wished I could have treated my life as a gift and not been so wasteful.

Recently I was reading one of my first journals. After reading it... I was sick to my stomach! It's as if I had forgotten a lot of the "crap" I allowed myself to get into and reading it almost made me feel as if I was re-living the emotional roller coaster I once encountered. I was nauseous! I then realized that I was WAY worse than I thought I was. It was an awful, for an hour or so, I recounted all of the things that caused such desolation. God really knows my limits with things like this. It was then that 2 Corinthians 5:17 came to mind. "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation."

About 5 or 6 yrs ago, that was the scripture that helped me turn my life around. I read my journals from the past few years and it was more refreshing. I can now look at both before my life changed and after and see how God really did not only pull me out of the "pit", but that I am a new person. I'm not saying that it's as if those things never happened. They did. I can't change it. They are also the things that shaped me into the person I am today. I don't believe my love for God, my love for life, my love for other people would be the same had I not known Christ's mercy and love for me. "For whoever has been forgiven much, loves much". So of course, I have to recognize where I've come from... but the life that I live now is new. It's like there was a clean slate and I got to start all over again. Praise God for loving his people SOOO much!

So I'm thinking I need to do something with those older journals. Perhaps burn them. Throw them away. Pack them to reflect on later (perhaps with some pepto). Not sure. If you have any suggestions, feel free to share.

Love and blessings to all of you!